Public Speaking

I hate public speaking. Hate it. I even hate speaking that is hardly public—like in front of a class of 15 classmates at a small, private liberal arts school—makes my knees shake. I consider myself a reasonable person and try to convince myself of the irrationality of my fear. I mean, I make an ass out of myself daily so what does it matter if I flub up a speech in front of a few people. I’ll forget about it 15 minutes after I finish. No big deal right? Well despite this very logical line of thinking, my knees still shake when my name I’m asked to talk in front of people. Very irrational, I know, but most fears are.

Last Thursday we held a community-wide meeting. Our town council is being sued over a piece of land that was bought 7 years ago to locate the pump that provides water to the community. The son of the owner of the land claims that the terms of the agreement were not met by the town council. As a result, he is suing for $20,000, a ridiculous amount to ask for the size of the land sold. Our council has documents proving that we met the terms of the agreement. It seems this person has no chance in court, but nonetheless he has caused an uproar. Running water is not a given in El Salvador, especially for communities as small and rural as mine. The water project is a sense of pride for the community, making this lawsuit a hot topic.

I sat in for the council’s planning of the general meeting. As the agenda was being set, one of the council members suggested that I be slated to say a few words. I explained that I know very little about the entire situation. It is true that the first Peace Corps volunteer in the community had a huge hand in the water project. “But,” I tried to explain, “I was still in high school at the time. I had no hand in the water project and know nothing about the original contract for the plot of land.” I convinced a few of the council members, but people still wanted me to speak. This is not abnormal as a Peace Corps volunteer. Political parties, churches, businesses, town councils, even feuding families try to align themselves with us. I always try to be as non-committal as possible—everything is nice…I like you but I like them also…can’t we all just get along?... etc. By the end of the council meeting I was under the impression that I would not be on the agenda.

Fast forward to last Thursday, the day of the meeting. I immediately check the agenda to see that I’m slated to give the closing remarks. It’s a good thing I still generally show up for things on time in a country where everything starts at least 45 minutes late because it meant I had time to think of what to say. Of course I wrote something down just to be ready for a potential freeze up on stage; something that’s not out of the ordinary for me.

The meeting went fine. About 100 community members showed up, a good turnout. The lawsuit was explained. A few members of the town council gave their commentary. The mic was opened up for questions and comments and everyone pledged their support to the town council. Then I was introduced to “offer my thoughts on the situation.”

I’m going to provide a basic transcript of what I said, but I must first offer a disclaimer. Public speaking here is always formal here. Even during the questions and comments section of a community meeting people still follow a set format. First you have to wish everyone a good morning/afternoon/evening. Then you have to thank the esteemed members of the government/policy/town council/school/business/etc. for showing up and offering their support. Next you have to compliment the organizers of the meeting/event for putting on such a beautiful meeting/event. Only then can you get to the point. 3 bonus points are given for each new way you can come up with to say what you just finished saying. 5 bonus points are given for every reference to God. Cheesiness is not a concept.

So what follows is a rough translation of what I said with some commentary in italics:

“I hope that everyone has a very good afternoon. First I want to thank the town council for including me on the agenda (actually, not really). I think it’s important for us to remember that the work they do is not for free. They don’t make any money (+3 repetition). They meet for the good of the entire community.
I also want to thank all of you for the support and friendship that you have shown me for the past 8 months. I feel so lucky to be in this beautiful community with such caring and f friendly neighbors. Every day I give thanks to God (+5 God reference) that I have found such a wonderful place to live and work.
I can’t speak too much about the subject at hand, because I was not here for the implementation of the water project. I can say that I know how hard everyone has worked on the water project and how important it is for the community. Water is life (remember, cheesiness is not a concept). Water gives life (+ 3) to everything: the trees, the animals, all of us. It is important that we keep working to ensure that there will always be water in our community. I hope we can find a solution to this problem that everyone can agree on, and if not, then a solution that is just.
Thank you for your attention and I’m going to sit down now because I hate speaking in front of large groups (polite laughter).”

After sitting down, one of the council members got on the microphone to say, “We know you weren’t here for the implementation of the water project. We put you on the agenda hoping you would say a little bit about the bakery project that you are working on.” He laughed, everyone laughed. Once again I made an ass out of myself. Oh well, just another day in the life.